This Will Be Real Madness

Alright it's that time of the year, the most exciting few weeks of the college basketball season. The brackets are out and March Madness starts up this week. I have decided that I am going to perform a little project through this year's big dance. My fiancee Kori knows as much about college hoops as most of us know about nuclear reactors or British literature. It is for this reason I will challenge her to a battle of the bracket. I have watched these guys play all season. I know the top dogs, I have researched the sleepers, I know the top ballers and team leaders better than their roommates do. Kori, on the other hand, will surely base her picks on three criteria, in this order. First, if she has heard of one team and not the other, she will pick that team, (Robert Morris has a shot on her bracket). If she has heard of neither team, she will almost certainly ask me who has prettier colors. And if those schemes are not to her liking she will resort to which team mascot would win in a fight, i.e. a wildcat would surely beat a cardinal. I will very briefly give you her first round picks and some of her reasons for choosing so. After each round I will update on who is more accurate. This should be a sure thing, but for some reason I have this feeling deep down that I am in trouble. And if she does beat me two things will happen. I will be as embarrassed as if I were standing bare assed in traffic, and secondly I may never fill out another bracket. This should be fun:

First it should be safe to assume she will pick all the number one seeds over the 16s... but i better make sure... ok yes, good start Kori. Now I'll tell you who she picked, but more amusingly, why she picked them.

Ohio State vs. Cal Santa Barbara: Ohio State because that is what team her best friend likes. And the fact that I hate them always leads her to pick them. I have to agree with her pick on this one though.

WVU vs Morgan State: WVU even though she hates them because "they were chanting bad words at us." This would be when we attended the Backyard Brawl. Even so they will not lose to a 15 seed.

Kansas State vs. North Texas: First she asks if Kansas State is the same as Kansas... No Kori. She picks North Texas for a blockbuster upset. I have to disagree.

Villanova vs. Robert Morris: "Villanova, I'm not that dumb." I agree.

Georgetown vs. Ohio: She thought she already picked Ohio, but that was Ohio State, not the same. Georgetown because she is intrigued by the name Hoyas.

New Mexico vs. Montana: "Lobos? Its Spanish for Wolf? I love wolfs." It's wolves but I'll take it. Right pick, wrong reason.

Baylor vs. Sam Houston: Bears can't play basketball but they're kind of tall. She takes Baylor. I swear I'm not making these up. She is really saying this stuff. I like Baylor as well.

Pitt vs. Oakland: So Pitt plays in Oakland, and they play against Oakland. Pitt fans wear gold, Oakland wears gold. "I don't even get it but I'm taking Pitt." Me too babe.

Maryland vs. Houston: Maryland because it is a state and Houston is only a city. Nice logic, I agree with this pick as well.

Wisconsin vs. Wofford: "F- Wisconsin. Wofford" I, on the other hand will take Sconnie.

Vanderbilt vs. Murray State: Vanderbilt. "I like how you say it and it sounds powerful." I'm convinced, Vandy wins.

Purdue vs. Siena: Siena, "because their mascot looks like Beethoven." He really does, and I agree with my lady again. Saints in the upset.

Michigan State vs. New Mexico State: "Oh no, two states, tricky. Wolverines right? Oh Spartans, even better, Michigan State." I agree again.

Temple vs. Cornell: "CORNELL!" I ask why. "Not sure, I just like them." Ironically I like Cornell to upset here too.

Butler vs. UTEP: "Butler, like in Pennsylvania." Actually Indianapolis but she likes Butler and will pretend they're a home team. I'm taking UTEP.

Texas A&M vs. Utah State: "Why is everybody from Texas? And what is A&M? They're like farmers? Farmers are badasses." I'll take A&M as well.

Tennessee vs. San Diego State: "Tennessee, even though I heard they're crooks." It's funny because it's true. I'll take the Vols too.

Marquette vs. Washington: "Marquette, reminds me of margarita." The alky takes Marquette and I'm in agreement.

Xavier vs. Minnesota: Xavier because "X marks the spot of a winner." I can't make this up, it really came out of her mouth. I like the X men too.

Notre Dame vs. Old Dominion: She takes Notre Dame because I hate them. I like the Irish to win this one too.

Oklahoma State vs. Georgia Tech: "Yellow jackets scare me." Enough said, she takes Okie State. Me too.

Clemson vs. Missouri: She would prefer a tie since they're both the Tigers but I assured her that will not happen, so she takes Clemson. "I heard they're good." I like Mizzou.

BYU vs. Florida: BYU reminds her of BYOB. She'll take the Cougars, and I think there may be a developing drinking problem here. Anyway, I like BYU too.

Richmond vs. St. Marys: St. Marys. "Because Mary is Jesus' mom, and spiders creep me out." Hard to go against good Christian logic but I like Richmond.

UNLV vs. Northern Iowa: UNI, because we have a friend from Iowa. I think I like the Runnin' Rebs in this one. Don't be too mad at me Mark.

Texas vs. Wake Forest: Wake Forest. "sleeper" Um, its an 8 vs. 9 game but hey who am I to ruin her dreams. I'll take Texas in this one. Hook Em.

Gonzaga vs. Florida State: "Florida State, let's go Tim Tebow." At this point I laugh so hard I pee a little. I'll take the Noles too though.

California vs. Louisville: California, because she cut a guy's hair who said their coach in a jerk. Agreed, but I still like the Cards.

Well those are the first round predictions from my live-in Dick Vitale. I hope this is as amusing for you as it was for me and it isn't one of those "you had to be here" things. She put as much research into this as I would expect, yet even with all the ridiculous reasons for picking who she did, we actually agree on most of the games. We'll see who is in the lead after this round. Pray for me, even though it probably won't help since she picked St. Marys and I didn't, good strategy Kor.