The Crack Staff

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Sometimes It's Okay to Laugh

If anyone happened to watch the Monday nighter last week, and actually still had the game on in the 4th quarter, then you saw the moment when the cameras caught Cardinals QB Derek Anderson sharing a smile with one of his O-lineman while getting shit-stomped by the Niners. If you didn't see it then, you definitely have seen it since, as well as the post game presser tirade that ensued. Jon Gruden felt it necessary to call out Anderson and question his competitive drive on national television, and then some moron, who I highly doubt was ever an athlete, badgered Anderson repeatedly after the game about the topic until the QB finally lost his cool. This is yet another one of the instances in sports where I really wish people would just kindly shut their cake hole because they obviously don't know the first thing about being an athlete. I will say this first and foremost, there is not a quarterback in the NFL who is not fiercely competitive. I highly doubt that Derek Anderson is any different. I'm sure this dude takes pride in his job and his performance, and he knows that the wins and losses generally fall on his shoulders. So he and Deuce Lutui shared a light moment in the midst of an ass-kicking. It happens. Would you rather he be crying or firing a Gatorade bucket on the sidelines. Yeah, Anderson was playing like shit. Do you think he didn't know that? Maybe his buddy did what normal people do when their friend is having a bad day... tried to cheer him up a little and have a laugh. This isn't a crime, it's a non-issue.

The main reason for this non-issue is a guy I thought I liked, Jon Gruden. But now I feel he is nothing more than a blowhard football robot who thinks a loss in the NFL is the biggest tragedy one can imagine. Yeah, he knows his stuff, but now I'm convinced he will throw players under the bus. And if he did it to Anderson on national television, imagine what he was like to his own players behind closed doors. But Gruden's Freudian moment of psychology only got the ball rolling for some other unathletic dick. That dick is Kent Somers. Heard of him? Me neither. But he pointed questions at Anderson and made it sound like the QB thought losing was funny. Does anyone who knows shit about sports really think he was laughing about the game or his performance? Of course not. But this putz who spends 18 hours a day hunched over his laptop studying stats apparently does. I love when journalists think they know what it takes to be a good athlete, or the way an athlete should behave. If this guy thinks that Anderson's laughing says something profound about his will to win then he is a complete idiot. Instead of just being realistic and assuming that these guys just saw or said something humorous, we question a guys character. And because it was pushed too far, a grown man was pushed to lose his cool and drop shit-bombs all over TV. So now the made-up media perception of Anderson is not only that he doesn't care about losing, but also that he's a hot-head. What do they wanna do now, run his ass out of town? I think maybe some of these other so-called experts need to learn to laugh it off a little.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

A Rivalry for the Fans, Not the Pundits

I consider myself a thinking man with an intellectual approach, and in the realm of sports and life alike I am a stats man.  I look at the cold, hard facts instead of convention.  Punt on 4th down at your opponent's 45?  Not a chance, the numbers are obvious.  Field goal from the 1?  Please.

The pundits talk about the Colts-Patriots rivalry as the greatest in the game, and I must agree to a certain extent.  With arguably the best coach-quarterback combination in history (Belichick/Brady) facing off against Manning, the closest thing to General Patton to ever put on the pads, it is always a great game to watch.  High scores, long passes; it's the definition of efficiency and finesse.  But I'm no Colts fan, and I'm certainly no Pats fan.

I appreciate the tactics, the strategy, and the cold, machine-like efficiency, but I'm a Steelers fan.  Rivalries aren't about finesse.

Rivalries are about pain.  Rivalries are about knowing the guy lined up six inches away and breathing through your facemask hates you, wants to break you in half, and eat your children with Mike Tyson sauce.  It is for this reason that the Steelers-Ravens rivalry is far and away the best and most entertaining in the league.

This Sunday Dec. 5th our boys in black and gold head back to M&T Bank Stadium in Baltimore to continue the rivalry, avenge the loss from early October, and take control of the division.  If the Ravens can out-muscle the Steelers in this one, they'll be in undisputed control of the division at 9-3 (to our 8-4) with a sweep of Pittsburgh for the season.  Our only hope would then be a likely wild-card spot and a third try at our nemesis in the playoffs.  Of course, we don't play in the NFC, and there's no playoff guarantee with 8 wins.  With the Chargers and Chiefs going strong in the West, the loser of this game could get pushed out of the playoff picture very easily.

It's been a wild n' crazy season for just about everyone, and the Steelers are no exception.  For example, the 9-2 Patriots got their asses handed to them by the lowly Browns in week 9, then rebounded to embarrass our Steelers in week 10.  It's pure guesswork at this point.  However, all things considered, the Steelers have certainly remained stable.  We've beaten the teams we should (Browns, Bengals, Bills, etc) and even put away a few contenders early (Falcons, Buccaneers).  Our problem has been when the big boys come to town, including those bastards in purple.  With a Big-Ben-less loss to the Ravens, and a couple more to the Patriots and Saints, we have yet to prove ourselves as actual league contenders.  The game this week is our proving ground.

To the winner: bragging rights, control of the AFC North, and a shot at home field advantage.
To the loser: A black eye, a seat at the kid's table, and a shot at a wild-card berth.

Despite the litany of injuries, the Black and Gold should be able to pull this one out, though it will be close.  Baltimore's Run D is a shadow of its former self, and Mendenhall should continue the stampede he started a couple weeks ago.  Expect big plays out of the two best Safeties in the game (Polamalu, Reed), expect some cool throwback uniforms, and expect about $50,000 worth of fines for Harrison sometime next week.  And please, for the love of Tomlin, there better be some long bombs to Wallace.  Prediction: 26-20 Steelers.

-Dan Gleeson-Prata

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